The Last Regiment Discord Bot

tally ho, scallywags.

hark! art thou weary of the same repetitive “slash-slaying” and “waifu-collecting” drivel that plagues the modern discord landscape? hast thou ever looked at thy foyer and thought, “i own a musket for home defense, just as the founding fathers intended”?

then /enlist today in the only bot where the economy is as broken as a pre-decimal british pound and the medicine is just literal opium and vinegar.

• four ruffians break into my house: use the pennsylvania rifle to blow a golf-ball-sized hole through the first man. he’s dead on the spot.
• smoothbore struggle: draw thy pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it’s a smoothbore and nail the neighbor’s dog. /flee in shame or fix bayonets.
• the tactical meta: choose roles like sapper to booby-trap thy enemies or light dragoon to trample mfs without spending a single farthing on ammo.
• historically accurate suffering: get an infection? spend thy hard-earned shillings on a vinegar compress or just drink a barrel of whiskey and hope for the best.
• drip or drown: customize thy piece with silver inlays and ivory stocks because looking fly on the battlefield is more important than actually hitting thy shots.

it is 1777. the british are coming, the reloads are 18 seconds long, and thy neighbor’s dog is in constant peril.

say /enlist to claim thy brown bess and a life of poverty and glory.

“what the devil?!” — a continental deserter, moments before being hit by a mounted charge.